Beauty & The Beast

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

All of these I-N-S-E-C-U-R-I-T-I-E-S are really driving me up the wall man!

I don't wanna have all of these insecure feelings and start thinking about all these rubbish. It's only bringing me down, NOT motivating me on and spuring me to greater heights!

I mean. Yeah. You don't necessarily have to tell someone that you love that person in order to let the person know how you feel about that person. Some things are just pretty darn obvious to the eye. Even if the person doesn't reply you back with the 3 magic words, but by the person's actions, you are able to see for yourself whether the person truly loves you or no. Besides, even if the person doesn't or no longer feels the same way about you as you do for that person, all that matters is that you love the person unconditionally and shower your care and concern on that person mutually. It's tough to know that you love that person so much but the person doesn't or no longer feels the same way about you but that's reality. That's life.

Say it too often and people might think that you're saying it NOT cuz you really mean it from the bottom of your heart but that, you're only saying it for the sake of saying it. Say it occasionally and people might think that you're heartless, cold and withdrawn. Either way, it's still wrong. So maybe you should say it in moderation.

I don't even know why I'm blogging about this topic but I guess it's cuz I just wanna share my perceptions on this matter. Or maybe it's cuz I've been doing a little self-reflection thingy. Either way, I'm still blogging about this topic.

Yes, I admit. This post is a total random-shit thingy that I have the sudden urge to blog about. That's just me. I get so random at times that I immerse myself in it completely. Haha!

10:25 AM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

Ok. So yeah, I did my spring-cleaning today. NO! It's NOT to prepare for the upcoming Chinese New Year. It's simply cuz my room was becoming more and more like a PIGSTY than a prim and proper living quarters!

I cleared out my closet and separated my clothes into 2 piles. I packed 1 pile of clothes, which I no longer wanted to use, into 2 bags and gave them away. I arranged the remaining pile of clothes back neatly into my closet. I unpacked my shopping stuff, sorted them out and placed them neatly into my closet as well. I got rid of almost all of my old stuff in the storage box and the bags under my bed, as well as those that were placed near my study table. Arranged the remaining stuff neatly and placed them back in the storage box. I swept and mopped the floors under the bed and under my tartan carpet. I aired out my pillows, bolsters, blankets and mattresses.

I don't even know what's gotten into me today but somehow, I suddenly felt like cleaning up every single damned thing in my room and I did it! Now, I'm down with the sickening flu cuz of all the dust bunnies that went up my nose when I breathed. Haha! But it's just a small price to pay for cleaning up my room.

1:46 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

Yup2! I went on a MAJOR SHOPPING SPREE yesterday with my FCX adek, Adek Khairil, my besty, Tun, my FCX twin sister, Jun, my FCX bro, Aiman and my adek's friend, Ain.

I met Tun under her block at around 12, where we lepaked for a while cuz my adek just WOKE UP when we were supposed to MEET at 12. Haha! Proceeded to my adek's block where we waited for him for, like 45 minutes, before he finally came down at 1.15. We headed off to Penin and that is when the shopping BEGAN!

My adek and I bought a guitar EACH for ourselves. I then went in to Super Trendy Corner at the basement, where I bought a white berms(something which I've wanted for a REALLY long time) and a brown shirt(the design and the colour was DAMN NICE!). I also bought for myself a white backpack(the ones which teens nowadays are using) and a black printed T-Shirt. We met Jun shortly after, accompanied her to get her shades(also at Penin) before heading down to the Esplanade to chill and have an early dinner. Nooris, Sulaiman, Izzati and friends joined us for a while, where we chit-chatted and caught up cuz we haven't met each other for a long time now. After dinner, we went our separate ways.

My adek, Jun, Tun and I went down to City Hall Mrt Station to meet Aiman and Ain. Headed down to Somerset to meet Faris and Saiful and watch the free gig there. I bought a Rock and Roll Inc T-Shirt from them to support their newly opened business, which designs t-shirts and organises gigs.

Honestly, you guys should BUY those printed t-shirts, which Faris and Saiful designed themselves. It's DAMN CHEAP and the designs are simply SUPERB!

We said our goodbyes after a while and went down to Cotton-On at Tampines Mall cuz they were having a SALE! Bought like 3 t-shirts and a shawl there at a BARGAIN! Went up to FreshBox where I bought a brown Stripped Polo T-Shirt.

Finally, went down to Downtown to grab a bite, chilled for a while before heading home.

Here's a list of what I bought in order:

Guitar, Guitar Bag and Pick - $76 (Penin)
White Berms - $15 (Super Trendy Corner, Penin)
Brown Shirt - $20 (Super Trendy Corner, Penin)
White Patterned Backpack - $18 (Super Trendy Corner, Penin)
Black Printed T-Shirt - $15 (Penin)
Ate a Student Meal at Sourpuss, Esplanade - $9.90
Rock and Roll Inc T-Shirt - $18 (Faris & Saiful)
Top-Up Ez Link - $5 (Somerset)
2 Simple T-Shirts - $10 (Cotton On, TM)
White Printed T-Shirt - $10 (Cotton On, TM)
White Shawl - $9.95 (Cotton On, TM)
Brown Stripped Polo T-Shirt - $36.90 (FreshBox, TM)
Next Reds Cigarettes - $10.60
Nasi Goreng Sambal Belachan - $4 (Downtown)
Total Spent on Shopping and other expenses - $258.35

THAT'S ALMOST HALF OF MY FREAKING PAY!

4:20 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

I finally applied for the courses which I wanna go to yesterday at 3am in the morning cuz I couldn't sleep....Haha.....

Anyways, yeah. I'm still thinking that all of this is a dream. A dream in which I'm having the time of my life and don't ever wanna wake up from. I still find it hard to believe that I passed my Os with very good results. I still can't believe that I'm eligible to apply for Mass Communications despite the fact that my O Level points did not meet the COP for that course(COP is 10 points, I got 13 points). I still can't believe that I finally graduated from East View Secondary, where I actually had loads of fun during my final year(2008). I still can't believe that I found a new job under the same company, where I'm really happy to work at despite the conflicts and the boredom at times. I still can't believe that I bonded with the Sec 5s and became so close to them that I don't ever wanna lose them cuz I love them and I treasure my friendship with them very much. I still can't believe that I bonded with Fadzly, of all East Viewans, cuz of the fact that we shared our problems and swapped life stories on MSN. I still can't believe that I found a new younger brother, being Adek Khairil, whom I've come to really love and care for a lot, like as though he were my natural younger brother.

Yes. All of those things, which I still find it hard to believe, happened in 2008. The bestest ever year for me.

1:00 AM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

Ok y'all! I just got back home from collecting my O Level results and guess what??

*Drum roll*

I PASSED YAW! GOT 13 POINTS!! YAY!!!!

I was like effing SHOCKED la sia. I honestly thought that I would fail my Os cuz I screwed up my Maths and Humanities but turns out, I passed both subjects! Yay!

I still remember tadi when all of us were like smoking away non-stop at K.C before the release of our results. We were all consumed by anxiety and I myself had difficulty breathing and my legs felt like as though they had turned to jelly.

Now, the next step in life is....

Which course should I take and at which poly?? I'm eligible for Mass Communications and Film, Sound and Video. I've got only until this Friday afternoon to decide.

5:04 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

Ok people...To be completely honest, I've not been working for the past 2 days. I requested to work today but sadly, I didn't get my schedule. So anyways, yeah.

I was supposed to go shopping today but apparently, the fucking payroll screwed up again accoding to the HQ peeps. So I gotta wait for a CHEQUE early next week, something which i don't normally get cuz usually my pay is credited into my bank account. So it's gonna be an agonizing few more days before I can FINALLY receive my pay! In the meanwhile, my wallet is FUCKING DRY and I'm down to my last 3 sticks of cigarettes. How am I supposed to survive when I'm like so BROKE?!!

Anyways, did I ever mention that my workplace is becoming more and more boring cuz A LOT of the people, whom I loved and was very close with, have either quit or are .arely working? My FCX adek, Adek Khairil, my FCX twin sister, Jun and my FCX family being Afiq, Aiman, Nooris, Rizal and Eliz. Haish. But yeah. Its a good thing actually cuz at least they won't get distracted from their Os, as they're sitting for their Os this year(Jun, Bob and Nooris excluded cuz they already graduated).

By the way, THANK GOD Aiman called me up yesterday, asking me to hang with him. I told him to drop by my place first and he told me to wait for his call. Well...Wait I did...For 3 WHOLE BLOODY HOURS IN FACT! HAHAHA! Punctuality problem. Luckily, I had reruns of Charmed online to distract me. So he swung by my place 3 hours later, at around 5. Tun called me up and we met her and Petrina under Tun's block to lepak for a while with them, before meeting my FCX adek, Adek Khairil, at Central. We proceeded to Stage to eat and lepak. Bob joined us shortly later. Waited for Jun to finish working before Bob, Jun and myself made our way home as my FCX adek and Aiman already went home earlier.

Today, since my plans for shopping were postponed, I thought of rotting away at home while watching Charmed. I only managed to watch an episode before my FCX adek texted, inviting me to chill at his place. I readily obliged as I had nothing better to do anyway so from like 4 all the way until now, here I am!

2 MORE DAYS TO A MOMENT OF TRUTH PEOPLE!

CAN'T WAIT TO MEET MY CLOSE SEC 5 BUDDIES AGAIN THIS MONDAY!

8:10 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

That's right! I SAID IT PEOPLE! 4 MORE DAYS TO A MOMENT OF TRUTH!!

The main question that is haunting everyone's mind nowadays is...

'Will I pass or will I fail??'

My answer to my own question?

'I think I failed badly...AGAIN! Cuz I screwed up my Maths Paper 2 BADLY! Threw away 25 marks due to lack of time! Screwed up Geography paper too so my Combined Humanities confirm go down the drain'

Next question:

"What course should I take in ITE?"

My answer to my own question?

"I have no idea what courses ITE has to offer which are appealing to me"

So where do I go after receiving my O Level results, which I did badly in and which I failed AGAIN??

Truth is.....

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA!

Labels: I know I failed my Os again so I just have to face the consequences... :(

3:12 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

Yeah, I know. Weird title for a post but yesterday was one of those typical randomshit days, where everyone around me was in a particularly crazy mood.

It was my off day yesterday and I was practically rotting away at home, watching all those re-reruns of Charmed on You Tube when Jun called me up, asking me to hang out with her at our usual chill-out cuz she was bored. I texted my FCX adek, Adek Khairil, about it and I met him at T.Mart together with Tun and Syaqeeq cuz the 3 of us wanted to buy our cigarettes. Hung out at T.Mart for a while before we parted ways with Syaqeeq to head back to Pasir Ris. Tun alighted from the bus shortly after and my younger brother and I went down to Stage.

Jun arrived shortly after and that was when the craziness began. Jun was 'vandalising' an FCX balloon, my adek was playing his guitar and I was like rocking 2 chairs back and forth. We talked crap and did a lot of stupid things and asked and said a lot of wacko shit that was totally random! That's why I love these 2 people so much! Its cuz I can totally be at ease and be myself whenever I'm with them!

12:16 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

Yep, that's right. I'm having a bloody sore throat right now but the shit is, my voice sounds perfectly normal but its just that whenever I eat, drink or smoke, my throat hurts like hell. And to top it all off, I'm coughing up all of this dark green, thick phlegm. EWWW!! I'm feeling feverish too but I don't think it's that bad. Can't afford to take M.C from work again tomorrow as I already took an M.C today.

Anyways, yeah. I just got back home from Adek Khairil's place. We were playing the guitar and he was coaching me a little as I was learning how to play Avril Lavigne's My Happy Ending. I'm improving I guess but I always have problems making the transition between the C and D chords and I always tend to play the song too fast, according to him. We ended up watching Star Wars on Channel 5, which by my standards, was enough to captivate me and keep watching till the very last second, despite the fact that I've always HATED Star Wars and anything to do with it. So it's considered pretty good ok??

Looking at the fact that school has now reopened and that the holidays are over, it feels weird to not go to school. My working place, being FCX, is also becoming more and more dull lately cuz of the fact that almost everyone whom I'm really close with, being my FCX adek, Adek Khairil, and my bros, Afiq and Aiman, as well as some of my other close colleagues, have either quit or rarely work due to school commitments. It's seriously boring without them cuz normally, we are the Noisemakers! We rock the place with our jokes and laughter and our constant teasing and poking fun at each other. Work was never dull without them around and I was always looking forward to going to work the next day cuz of these few people, whom I really love and have fun with at work, despite the fact that I'm really tired and sleep-deprived. Yeah, there's still Bob, Jun, Syaqeeq, Tun, Hakim, Nooris and Adi around but they're not the same. In fact, it's not the same without Khairil, Afiq, Aiman and Rizal cuz they are the jokers, who never fail to make my day.

Btw, I just remembered. Stop being a mother-fucking bitch and going around telling the new OJE staff that my adek and I don't train the new staff properly cuz I beg to differ BIATCH! We TEACH them the PROPER SOP STANDARDS, unlike YOU! Call yourself a FUCKING SENIOR but you can't even do your closing PROPERLY!! Yea, admittedly, yesterday, my brother, Shaz and I screwed up our closing cuz we completely forgot to watch the soup pot and the sink, forgot to switch off the drinks dispenser machines and we also forgot to empty the metal trashbin but look at it this way honey. Comparing the number of times you screwed up your closing procedures and left everything so dirty, oily, sticky and haphazardly to my brother's and my ONE time that we didn't do our closing procedures PROPERLY, being last night, I DARESAY that MY ADEK AND I did a BETTER JOB at closing our counter and lobby area THAN YOU and YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SENIOR!! And yeah, I completely accept the facts if you wanna gossip about me cuz I do gossip about you as well cuz I HATE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING 'BBL WORLD' NATURE!! But sugar. Get your facts straight if you wanna bitch about me and my younger brother. We GOSSIP FACTS ABOUT YOU but you're GOSSIPING UNTRUE RUMORS ABOUT US! And remember, you picked the wrong person to play the bitchy game with. I stopped being a bitch a LONG TIME back, ever since Razmeer talked to me, but for your case, I'm willing to make an exception. You wanna bitch about me and my brother? Oh puh-lease! *Rolls eyes* By all means, please go ahead. Just remember that I'll be watching your every move and if you strike me the third time round, I am so gonna give you HELL SLUT!

MOTHER FUCKING BITCH! OOPS! I did it again! Hehe... ;)

Labels: Stop being a bitch honey cuz I can be twice as bitchy.. :)

10:22 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

Yesterday night, I was partying away at Powerhouse at St James Power Station together with my FCX twin sister, Jun, and her pal, Qis. It was awesome!! You know what? Lets just let the pictures do the talking...

Getting ready at Adek Khairil's place. I LOVE YOU ADEK!

Twins At Heart...I LOVE YOU JUN!

At the Smoking Terrace...

Dumb Mother-Fucking Shadow!

Check it out baby!

Bitchy Faces Honey!

*Bob - Thanks A LOT, Bobby, for lending me your shirt! It was fucking nice! Love you Bobby!*

*Qis & Jun - Thanks for the awesome night, ladies! Love you Junny!*

*Adek Khairil - Thanks A MILLION, Adek, for your Dolce & Gabbana belt! It went well with the outfit! Love you adek!*

12:33 PM

<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Guess what I did to celebrate the countdown? I went down to D'Marquee together with my younger brother, Dahnial, my cousin, Khaleed, my FCX adek, Khairil, my FCX twin sister, Jun, my besty, Tun and the rest of my bdk lpk and my close colleagues(It would take me like forever to mention all of their names, so I'm only mentioning the names of those whom I'm VERY close with). We had a great time dancing away to the Reggaeton and R&B songs but the moment techno songs was being blasted away on the stereos, I went out cuz I HATE TECHNO!!

After that, we separated. Dahnial, Khairil, Jun and myself hung out at a block of flats before heading to my Adek Khairil's place to crash while the rest of them went down to the Swamp to explore I guess. Khai and Dan played the guitar for some time while Jun and myself laid down and fell sound asleep almost immediately. All of us woke up at around 12+, where we chit-chatted, continued playing on the guitar and watched House Bunny. We slept AGAIN at around 5.30 before waking up again 2 hours later.

That was when Jun headed off early cuz of family matters. I accompanied Dahnial to the bus stop but I dropped by the shop to get some food first. Headed back to Adek Khairil's place to eat and crash a while more before heading home.

THANK GOD my grandmother didn't nag continuously about the fact that I just arrived home from the Countdown Party YESTERDAY! Haha!

Anyways, this new year got me thinking...Will it be a good year for me like how 2008 has been or will it be a bad or even worse year for me like how 2003 to 2007 went down? Will I gain more friends or will I lose more friends than I can count? Will I move on to a Polytechnic or will I simply stop schooling altogether? For the first time in my life, I'm upset that a year has already come and gone cuz 2008 has been so good to me. Now, I can only wait and see what 2009 has in store for me....

Labels: I miss 2008 so badly that I want it to come back...

12:37 AM