Beauty & The Beast

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It's been a rough week. I didn't even enjoy myself at last night's Lollipop Party at Zouk(and this is coming from a hardcore clubber like myself, whose passion is clubbing) cuz some shit happened, adding to the already amounting pile of shit that life threw at me for this week. From Monday to Thursday, 4 straight days back-to-back, I've been pummeled by blow after blow.

Why must life be so shitty?? I'm worried sick about how that certain person is gonna pay off the $550 fine by this coming Wednesday. I'm worried about how the 4 of them are doing in their mid year exams.

I can't believe that what happened yesterday just happened.

To Izdihar, Ridzwan, Aliff, Rina & Raihanah:

Sorry for going off so early yesterday but a huge problem cropped up and I had to rush off to settle it. Even till now, it's still not settled yet. I'm really3 sorry. I promise you peeps that if there's an upcoming party, I'll definitely stay on and party with you peeps all night long. I'm very sorry guys. I just want you guys to know that I really love all 5 of you a lot.

To Tun:

I'm really very sorry. I don't wanna mention it here but you know what I'm talking about. It was my fault that you had the shit thrown at you as well. Honestly, I feel so damn guilty for what happened to you to the extend that I can't sleep cuz I've been thinking about all these shit for the whole of last night. I really love you a lot girl and I know you know that. You're still my best friend. Even though you were experiencing this shit, you could still tell me to enjoy myself at Zouk, to not worry about you and to not ditch Zouk just to be there for you and you even apologised for making me come all the way down. I was honestly touched when you told me that cuz it goes to show that you were willing to sacrifice your own happiness just to make me happy. I didn't care about Zouk at all and I still ditched Zouk just to be there for you cuz to me, FAMILY, SIBLINGS and FRIENDSHIP comes first before anythingelse. I can club anytime so you don't have to apologise at all cuz clubbing just doesn't seem important to me anymore. You were always there for me whenever I needed you so it's about time that I stood firmly by your side and I did just that. Rest assured, I won't go down without a fight and I'll stand up for the both of us and I'll fight to the end for our rights.

To Bob:

Thanks a lot for your help and for trying to stand up for us. I really appreciate it a lot. You're a great person who cares a lot about everyone around you. I have no regrets knowing you at all.

To Adek Khairil and Adek Afiq:

I'm very3 sorry for troubling you guys smlm but I honestly didn't know who to turn to as my own best friend, Tun, was involved in this matter. I know you guys are sitting for your mid years so I'm really sorry for bugging you guys smlm. Yea, I know I felt like running away from all this shit and even ending my own life but after what the both of you told me('Don't do anything stupid, can? Just promise me that?', 'Bro..Now just chill aites. Dun do anything stupid' and 'Tkd ppela bro. Katekan brothers sak. Brothers.', showing me that you guys really cared a lot about me, I promise you guys that I won't do anything stupid. You guys know me well enough. I love the both of you too much to the extend that I can't bear the thought of leaving you guys. I appreciate the fact that you guys heard me out. And Adek Khairil, I'll give you a treat after your mid years aitez? I promised you and I'll keep to my promise.

Oh God. Just thinking about everything that I went through this week with my closest friends was already enough to make me tear up. Doing these shoutouts to my loved ones is like the icing on the cake, causing me to break down. I hate this. I honestly do.

I hate struggling cuz I was brought up to be strong. I hate being dependent on others cuz I was brought up to be independent. I hate asking people for money cuz I was brought up to learn to support myself. I hate myself for troubling the ones I love cuz it's not my type. In fact, I hate myself!

P.S: Life is full of ups and downs. You just have to stay strong.

7:50 AM